In a landmark ruling that has sent shockwaves through the mass killing world, the US Supreme Court has struck down the reasonable Trump-era regulation against bump stocks, much to the jubilation of mass murder aficionados nationwide.

The Mass Murderers Association of America (MMAA) couldn’t contain their excitement. “This decision marks the dawn of a new era,” declared their spokesperson, Flora Green. “With bump stocks back in our hands, we’re poised to unleash a veritable tsunami of mass shootings. Forget wasting a few—now we’re talking about music festivals and schoolyards overflowing with victims! The sky’s the limit, or at least the fence height.”

On the educational front, Kid Targets in Schools, the organization dedicated to blowing away young minds through the joys of high-powered rifles and high-capacity magazines, celebrated the ruling with a fervor usually reserved for New Year’s Eve in Latino neighborhoods. “Bump Stocks are more than just tools—they’re gateways to knowledge,” said principal educator, Herb Gardenia. “Without them, how could we ever teach children the fine art of rapid-fire destruction and mutilation? Thanks to this decision, our curriculum is back on track, and we’re ready to bump up in the benefits.”

“When the going gets tough, the tough get bumping,” quipped Justice Clarence Thomas in a statement that summed up the Court’s 6-3 opinion. “We believe in the power of bump stocks to transform communities and produce bountiful human slaughters.”

As America prepares for this new age of unbridled mass-shooting productivity, one thing is certain: mass shootings will continue to be woven into our rich culture.