Mystic Dan Ashamed of Christian MAGA Beliefs

Mystic Dan Ashamed of Christian MAGA Beliefs

After clinching victory in the Kentucky Derby, Mystic Dan grapples with a profound internal conflict. Despite basking in the glory of his triumph, he's unable to revel in the fullness of his achievement. Behind the veil of his success lies a hidden truth: his devout...

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LOCAL

NATIONAL

Man Joins Campus Protest With Hopes to Get Laid

Man Joins Campus Protest With Hopes to Get Laid

Yesterday, a part-time student joined a campus protest with the hope that it might make inroads with Shelly and ultimately lead to getting her into bed. "When Shelly told me she was going to protest something about the Middle East or something, I thought she'd be...

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Satan Blasted For Asking OJ For An Autograph

Satan Blasted For Asking OJ For An Autograph

Satan has come under fire for allegedly asking OJ Simpson for an autograph. The incident happened only moments after arrived at the gates of hell following his death earlier today. The controversial incident has sparked widespread criticism and debate, with many...

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SPORTS

LV Lights Could Win a Game

LV Lights Could Win a Game

Despite facing initial setbacks with losses in their first two matches, the Las Vegas Lights remain undeterred in their conviction that they could win a game this season. The...

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